also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Boobs speak an international language.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
