I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
PANTIES FOUND
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
