you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
