I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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