just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
