The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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