While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
