Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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