he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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