did you get engaged???
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
