i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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