Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
