I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
