Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize