I want to stick my p in your. b.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
