i don't like sucking hair
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
