your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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