yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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