Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize