it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
