and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
