what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
