"it" just moved
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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