This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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