dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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