even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize