I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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