I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
