I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
