why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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