return my video game
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
