Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
