I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
