When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
