omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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