They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize