i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
