On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
