i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm at about main and main street
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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