is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
