Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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