Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
