He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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