No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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