i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
