I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
