Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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