This is not my ceiling
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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