Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
