yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
