please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
