one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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