big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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