that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
