I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
pray to the hookup gods
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
