If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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