'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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