he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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