Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize