thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
