Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
