Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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