Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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