Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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