Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
