I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
last night I used snow as a chaser
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
