her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
