put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
