Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
