u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
