What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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