so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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