Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
