Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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