I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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